Not long after I posted about spending part of Sunday hiding in the tub, I received a text from a dear friend: “Love you. I know the Sunday feeling that you talked about in your blog. Listening to “Atlas of the Heart” by Brene Brown while driving. She suggested in overwhelm ‘doing nothing’ is actually the best choice to reset.”
As I was about to get in the car to go the farm and take care of the horses. I did a quick podcast search on “Atlas of the Heart” and found a Super Soul Sunday two-part conversation between Rene and Oprah. As I drove each way and while I cleaned the stalls, I let the conversation flow through me.
Rene talk about how people have become untethered, adrift and lonely. People are missing a sense of belonging through connection with the natural and spiritual world. This portion of a larger conversation resonated within me like church bell ringing out on a cold morning.
In early 2021, the second year of the pandemic, I realized how untethered I was. My life of staying busy with cast of casual friends had provided a sense of connection that disappeared when the world went into quarantine. These “friendships” did not return. It hurt. I thought a couple of them were real friends. I tried dating apps before we knew the word COVID and ride out my contracts as they were an exercise in ghosting and frustration.
I decided to move as very little was keeping my in the city. I wanted to be closer to family and the horses. My true friendships would endure the distance.
Now I have been in my new town and job almost six months and old feelings and patterns are retuning. During a Friday night Facetime with my city friends, I told them that I feel discombobulated. I have family close by, but something is missing. I’m feeling unconnected.
Rene says the port I seek is within me, but I don’t know. I’m looking for community and friendship. I am lonesome. I have been for awhile.
How does a woman just past her mid-50’s find her community of friends and casual friends? I’ve tried the usual suspects. I would love to hear how you found your community.