When I was four-years-old I made two announcements: 1. I was an adult and would be treated as such, and 2. I was not going to have babies so I did not need a daddy. I was going to raise puppies.
Everyone thought that was cute, but I was not kidding. As I aged, I was told that I would change my mind. I would cringe when someone would tell me that I would meet a man and change my mind. I have met many men, some of them I truly loved, but I did not marry and I raised only puppies. I bucked the norms of my culture. I bucked the belief that women were meant to be mothers and caregivers. I love mothers. I am grateful for my mother, but deep in my soul I knew that I did not want to have or raise children and that I did not want to marry.
What I am saying is, deep down we all know our truth. In yoga and Martha Beck books this is called your North Star, your True North. The deep truth that resonates through your entire being. True North is the essence of you, your purpose and your nature. True North is who you are meant to be and what you are meant to bring to this world.
Over the years I have found my 4-year-old self knew her truth. The thing she wanted most of all was to live on a hill with her puppies and horses. I have this on weekends and one day I will have it daily. There will be a sadness that comes with achieving that dream because it will come due to the decline of my parents. Maybe I never nurtured my own children, but I will nurture and care for my parents, aging dogs and aging horses. This is my True North, my purpose. Crying while writing this sentence, yet feeling a calm knowing in my body is a sign that I am on course.
When anyone tells me a dream, I consciously hold it as sacred. It is not my job to critique, mock, shame or pooh-pooh another’s dream. It is an honor when someone trusts me enough to share her dream. It is not my job to enforce cultural standards, limit potential or crush a purpose for service or the benefit of all.