Even Cowgirls Get the Blues

February is the worst month on the calendar.

My dislike began in third grade when someone thought it would be a good idea to teach rural Kentucky children to spell phonetically. As a result I still misspell February as I do not hear nor pronounce the “r”.

I find the second month of the year to be the dark hole into which all of January’s hope disappears. It is cold and wet, there is nothing to look forward to in the short term and, in the time of COVID, it is very isolating as the weather is not conducive to being outside with my elderly parents or my closest friends. My get-up-and-go wants to stay in bed with the blankets pulled over my head and the dog cuddled up next to me.

For me, February is proof that the yoga and meditation path is not always “love and light.” Forget the “Good Vibes Only” t-shirt mantra. Not so good vibes are real. Chipper blindness to emotions is denial.

On the “all I want to do is go back to bed” days, I admit my feelings and show up for the day the best I can. If I oversleep and miss my meditation and yoga, I don’t quit forever. I do shortened practice or return that night or the next day because I know I feel better when I show up for myself. I don’t bully or shame myself. Judgement magnifies the discord.

Acknowledging the slog, the sad, the anger or the desire to cry while making oatmeal before going to work is the the first step to dissolving the emotions. Judgement or self-flagellation are unnecessary. Admitting the truth to myself releases both my attachment to and shame from my feelings.

There is a bright spot. February is the shortest month on the calendar.

29 thoughts on “Even Cowgirls Get the Blues

  1. Ally Bean says:

    One of my favorite novels, so I love your title for this blog post.

    I agree with you: “Chipper blindness to emotions is denial.” I’d rather be authentic to what I’m feeling than pretend otherwise. That being said, I’m very tired of February but realize it’s just a month/season so I can wait it out. Oh yes I can.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. ZeroSpace says:

    Sigh… yes Feb sucks. (I just abbreviate it, so as to sidestep the spelling!). I attend AA meetings via zoom, so I have heard many people talking about how they are feeling shitty lately. Usually they don’t know why. I speak: “okay, to all you feeling shitty – we’re deep in winter and there’s not enough sun. And we’re still in a pandemic…”.
    I would say be kind to yourself, but based on what you show us of your self-talk, it looks like you might have self-kindness mastered. I know from experience however that it can still be awfully hard sometimes even when we do things right and use all the proper tools. I like how other commenters are pointing out Feb is the shortest month. My motto has always been – and remember I am from Alaska, so I have endured many horrible dark and cold winters – I had to develop a motto for Feb – “we are now closer to the beginning of spring than we are to the beginning of winter”. Try that mantra out 😉.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Ladysag77 says:

    I honestly have felt the same for most ofmy life before I moved to the South and can now enjoy a warmer climate in the winter months. It’s also a bit of a let down from the beginning strength of January and the new year, we tend to lose a bit of steam in February. Here’s praying you have a lovely onenone the less my friend ❤❤❤

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Barbara Rodgers says:

    There’s a stark beauty in your February photograph, in spite of all the negative aspects of the month. I keep thinking I’ve hit the pandemic wall, so tired of waiting for everything, including vaccinations and springtime. Hang in there, Sarah!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. shoreacres says:

    I feel so odd. February’s never bothered me — not up in the north, and not down here. It always seems to move a little too quickly, and it’s over before I know it. I suppose part of it’s that it’s the month that spring begins. The traditional time to prune roses is Valentine’s Day, although that won’t be happening this year. We’re coping with historic cold,snow, ice, and such: that “such” being the consequent accidents on the roads and power outages because of the ice.

    February means Mardi Gras, too. It’s always nice to have some King Cake and enjoy the festivities. This year celebrations have been cut back, but in Galveston and NOLA, they’re substituting “House Floats” for the parades. People decorated their houses like floats, and on given nights, you can go by and they’ll throw beads from their front porches. That was the plan, anyway, until the cold and snow showed up.

    Ah, well. Best laid plans, and all that. Now I’m remembering something else: in the song “American Pie,” Don McLean gets it right. “FebRuary made us shiver…”

    Liked by 1 person

    • Sarah Davis says:

      Love your comment, but the final part made me say, “WHOA”! The entire I was writing this I also thought about American Pie:
      “I met a girl who sang the blues
      And I asked her for some happy news
      But she just turned away”

      I love synchronicity.

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Debbie says:

    Sarah, I’m not a big fan of February either. Thank heaven it’s the shortest month! It’s funny, you know, because when I lived down South, I didn’t hate it as much as I do living in Central Illinois. And this year, for sure, has been beastly! Hang in there … spring is coming. I’ve noticed tiny signs that Mother Nature is ready to turn a corner.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. leelah saachi says:

    At least – the horses ar very peaceful – beautiful photo – I have never thought of February in that way – the Mars/April are my worst – the light is too blaring light after all this darkness. I found it refreshing to read your open judgmentlessness ( maybe new word -)

    Liked by 1 person

  8. leelah saachi says:

    In Norway. there are no tornados…but I DID watch a miniminitornado once – strutting off in front of me – nice little vortex there, in a heap of dry leaves, which rose in a spiral. It lasted for maybe 20 seconds, but it was such a great experience

    Liked by 1 person

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